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| Lonely Photo by Vanessa Shakesheff (used by permission) |
Not for one minute.
Amazing to keep trying until almost 55. I am so glad to still have enough time left to focus on my true purpose.
I give it up! I renounce more than basic connection with others. There is no overlap between their world and mine. To act as if this is not so is dishonest, profoundly dishonest to myself.
I am alone at last. My true life and purpose as a sadhini now begins.
The only truth I have found in this life, that doesn't give out after a few months or a few years, is the truth which I find inside, the divine Self which is Paramashiva, which is everything.
2 comments:
I feel exactly like this :)
It is such a relief to slip out from under the burden of delusion... more so with the greater delusion. I am reminded again and again that I don't live in the same world of others committed to living in and creating from karma. My story has wound down. I am done. Soon I will reunite fully with my greater Self. This is what I was born for, and what I live for. It makes me completely different from anyone who doesn't share this truth. And so I have fun serving and playing with others. But I am the watcher, I am the knower. When I can offer everything to Lord Krishna, to Paramashiva, I am Arjuna playing my part, I am Parvati practicing austerities to be with my Lord. I find that I am saying goodbye to everything, a sort allowing of the slipping off feeling where these things were in my heart, finding I am still whole without anything at all.
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