Seek

Do you hear the silence? I do.

Do you see intelligence dancing around you? I do. Shiva is always here, hiding in plain sight as everything.

Once this point of view was a flash, no more, questioned.

Each time, I saw it a little longer. A flash, no more, still questioned.

I began to realize I could have this experience all of the time. My helpful ego thought this achievement meant all sorts of things about me.

I learned to let grace come in without handing it to my ego. This took a lot of discipline. This discipline is why I can post these secret things here, without thinking any of this is my attainment. Attainment is the consolation prize. I seek the true prize. I am vigilant, and keep these most precious things apart from my ego.

I am so lucky. I was so tired. I was tired of serving the illusion that I could obtain all that I craved and juggled and desperately sought each day without turning inward.

Grace was waiting, endless grace, waiting for me.

I find the source of endless refreshment, comfort and joy flowing up through me whenever I turn to my source. I receive all that I have ever wanted and more, the real desires of my heart, not worldly reflections. This is why the guru is called the Wish Fulfilling Tree.

I could not do any of this without grace. Grace is REQUIRED.

Grace comes from my guru. It flows to me when I draw it with auspicious acts of loving self-discipline, when I grow spiritually. It is always a gift. I cannot earn it. It is precious beyond all purchase or repayment.

I can only learn how to accept grace.   

Thank you... 

If God's grace is your heart's desire, then you are a seeker. Your grace might come from nature, Gaia, the universe, The Ancestors, Jesus, the Goddess, Krishna, Buddha, Allah, The Beloved, or simply a mystery that appears in your consciousness. Seek and keep most precious this grace and it will seek you. It will show you the way.

Because of grace, I hear the silence. I stop, I listen, and it is always there. What is real... immediate... forever.

I have turned my senses inward. This is my discipline.

Because of grace, I see that One who is beyond time and space, who creates time and space from Self. One who has always existed; One without second. I know my consciousness is this One.

There is a sacred, sacred place in the heart where this One is not veiled. Will you live and die this time without finding this place?

A part of me is established there. This is my heart's desire, always above everything else. Every day I choose this, a little more of me is established in God. It's a little easier. It lasts longer. My guru teaches me that I can become enlightened, can be established in God in this lifetime. This truth thrills me; I am returning home. It is the journey of journeys.

Do you want the source of endless refreshment, comfort and joy above all? If this is what you desire, seeker..... wait no longer. SEEK... God will answer the longings of your heart.

Seek.

Don't laugh. Star Wars touched the place of the heart that whispers in every heart, "come home."

The real beloved

Persian Calligraphy

"The real beloved is your beginning and your end. When you find that one, you will no longer expect anything else." 

~ Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī

(1207-1273)

I awoke to a so sweet, warm and loving good morning from my Beloved, inside... An unmistakable surge of warmth and bliss. God is so creative! He created everything, which of course includes me. He knows how to keep me inside of him, and to live inside of me, for this is all consciousness, His consciousness. And he knows that I love strong emotions and a sense of drama, and so he comes to me in this way.

God is to be worshiped as the One Beloved, dearer than everything in this and next life.

~ Swami Vivekananda (1863-1902)

Passion... passion and passion, all the day and then the night... I want and I need you and seek in my heart for You, my Lord.

I am alive with this passion! It pours over my mind, pulling my thoughts like an underground river, flowing down, into the center place where it is cool and dark. I close my eyes and so slowly my head moves to one side as the small movements of ecstacy, for I am saturated with You, my Love, I am brimming over with You and Your great love, You, the inventor of love, and its source deep within me forever.

My heart... my heart... my living heart is the temple of passion and fire. I have traveled here through many lifetimes to quietly throw myself on the fire and be consumed by my love of God. He who is my Beloved, the mysterious one, most worthy of all love, the formless who makes of Himself my form. He who is the fire, the offering, and this sacred place.  He who knows no time, yet has has given me endless lifetimes for my return, then knows when to pull me into Himself.

I have been called home.

Fire. His constant touches, inside. He is here, always here, always seeking me, as I seek Him.

Fire.

“It is part of the nature of every definitive love that sooner or later it can reach the beloved only in infinity.” 

~ Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926)

The yearning

This yearning and yearning for the Beloved is softening me, I feel it opening my heart, bringing me over and over to God in my constant need of His promise, the answer to this need.

Ever tender is His love, for my offering of it all... of my chance and fate, my blood and bone, the augured walls of my willing surrender.

Edward Lear ~ Jerusalem from the Mount of Olives, Sunrise

I will leave this holy city. I can just slip away from this last chance at worldliness, slipping through the eye of the needle into the darkness outside these ancient walls, slipping through the cool stillness before sunrise to live and pray in the solitary places. I turn away from the dream of this world, and carry nothing but my aching need for You, my God. 

I will worship You wherever I am. I will make of the sands my prayer mat, the winds my Azan. God is great. The only true success. There is no other. There is only God, only Allah.

I love You, God. I love You so... I love You... You are my Beloved and my Supreme Lord. My source and my destination, the fragrance of love, the only fount of all I desire... You as You tenderly enfold me. You as You take me back into Yourself forever. You as my own true Self, my own true Love.

James Fairman ~ View of Jerusalem 
(Public domain via Wikimedia Commons)

I am far away now. The wind pulls at my clothes, softening them as You are softening me, Lord. And I have stopped to remember, how at the Mount of Olives I turned to view the City on a Hill, the city of walls and of the many, of many prayers. 

And I wondered: will my eternal God ever take form as me again?

~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~

"You cause the night to enter the
day, and You cause the day to enter the night; and You bring the living out of the dead, and You bring the dead out of the living. And You give provision to whom You will without account.” 

(The Noble Quran, Ali Imran:27)