Home at last

I am the place that hungers, that aches and is empty. The story of why, and the fable of what.

I am the very quality of fullness. Where one seeks, there am I. A memory cannot exclude me. There, on the horizon!

Look behind, and know me again... then know me all along.

Those who love me, who love only me, find in my heart their own gently beating. To seek shelter there is the end of every journey, the end of journeying itself.

Be enfolded, little heart. Feel this pulse, this humming throb.

Know yourself. Be home at last.

I know you

God, I love you as everything, your beauty, your strength, 

your fire and your frailty, your word and your gaze, 

I know you. I know you.

Bliss bliss bliss... thought..... Bliss bliss bliss.....

Bliss... bliss................ thought...

Bliss bliss bliss... thought..... Bliss bliss bliss...

Dear God, please never stop pulling me into You with your bliss

Now

An excerpt from the Vijnana Bhairava, The Manual for Self Realization by Swami Lakshmanjoo, from Dharana 28 (sloka 51).

"When you are walking or talking, or doing some household work, or doing any other nonsense act, just concentrate your mind on dvādaśānta [the center place]. Your mind must hold the state of dvādaśānta in each and every act of your daily routine of life. But this must be held in continuity, pratikṣaṇa.

Then, one is born anew. One is born anew in days, not in months. Vailakṣaṇyaṁ dinair bhavet, some days will take place and he will be born anew; he will become new, all-round new...

...Then kṣīṇa vṛitter, his [lower] mind will cease to function. His mind will cease to function altogether, and he will become a new man in some moments, or in a few days, not months.

Then nothing is to be done afterwards. Then his everything is there."

Swami Lakshmanjoo at the feet of Ramana Maharshi 1938

A little lesson

I felt bad. Where did You go? I reached, nothing.

A few minutes later, I felt You "return." A touch inside. Just a touch.

I soared back into You as the source, my Beloved... as all of this.

(A little lesson).

My Beloved's name is Shiva

Ever since my guru (who else?) announced "Pack your bags..." when I was waking up, I am slipping more each minute into the One, it is bliss and magic, returning to God, to my true Self.

Was it only a few months ago when I was STRIVING to reach God? And then having little interest? Back and forth. I've really stopped that!

When I think about writing in my blog, and how this perspective might sound, I feel I want to explain (who am I explaining to?)

If someone is reading this, and thinks there is way more to life than "shutting out" my experience of the world, that it is self-centered and perhaps outright delusional, consider my explanation.

I am stepping out of the game. The game goes on. We all have our time to move on. I follow my duty through the world, and observe it. But my senses are turning inside. That is where my heart is, where my treasure lies.

I am leaving this world, inside. Inside I have turned away from the world. I am not afraid, or bound by it. I am not concerned. I am free. My state is the key.

I do not move. Where I am is profoundly still because there is no space and there is no time.

Space means here, and not here. Time means now, and not now. Limitations. God, my divine nature exists outside of these elements of maya. Even my own concept of God is a momentary shill, a compassionate offering for my mind to grasp. God is beyond all concepts.

God has many names, and answers to all of them.

My Beloved's name is Shiva. Shiva Shiva Shiva.... the land of my being, the water of my soul. I am called Jnana Shiva... to know You is my state.