Rest

Photo from Jnaneshwar's Samadhi Mandir

In the guru, my life force finds rest.

~ Jnaneshwar Maharaj

Photo: Trip Advisor

Steady

She came again... I felt her touch while I was reaching into my (tall) aquarium. I could not see her, but I felt her near, and the place where she touched me felt warm.

Again the message: "Steady."

Photo Randy Parkhurst

As we dance

How strange it is that others seem to progress via sadhana from illusion to perfect form--the goal of sadhana--while I progress from form as illusion to the perfect chaos of all forms in One.

I feel, I dance. Only now.

I fall apart, fall to earth, lost again, conquered by what is most petty, ego's sure advance, retaking all ground.

Then it starts again, the perfect dance, with no form, spontaneous, coming up from within.

I don't need to know anything at all, except the bliss, the divine that transcends "in" and "out."

The continuum is not divided in any way.

God is so close, there is no gap between us. The energy of all holds my consciousness as we dance.

Consciousness check

S H O R T

Guru, worship

I see the world from within myself, a transparent play

I see my attachments as illusion and futile, painful

I withdraw my senses, hold my shakti

I love my appetites, and slip off the hook

Shanti shanti shanti

Brahmacharini tapasya,
the unmarried version of Parvati

L O N G

Choose the world of the subtle body... inside... falling backward...

See the world from within...


Now, instead of concepts and story...

Breath, mantra... posture, subtle body...

Floating, meditation...

Love and worship and longing...


My Self, my Guru, Lord Krishna...

Mata Durga, Sree Parvati, Maa Brahmacharini

Paramashiva, who is Shree Kundalini at play...

Love and worship, longing and consciousness...

Now.

Brahmacharini tapasya to become one with Shiva

The beautiful consciousness

Horse pucky! How to make progress, what to do to call grace.... what to do. NO.

I need to master doing like I need a hole in the head.

I am, the Self is my truth, which I can feel at any time, because of grace, exquisite grace.

Someday-at any moment-I may become "established" in the Self, able to experience the truth in every moment.

I am a traveler in the beautiful consciousness of God, as me and as everything. My dance of bliss and travail offered to Lord Krishna is my treasure. I knew it years ago when I looked at my past with new eyes and realized it was all a precious strand of pearls with everything I ever wanted in it.

Passion, strength, being devoured, becoming again, crying with my soul, yearning and yearning for magic, for an awakened life.

I wanted an awakened life, which I am living now, in this moment.

This is my truth. This is what is true, the dance. And it only exists in now.

Be the awareness

Realization isn't about getting from point A to point B, from now to the goal. I am ever traversing everything in between, all in an endlessly varied order. God's will is unfettered. 

Maya plays. All of this doesn't look like God because of the magic of maya.

To continue to (pursue illusion and) swim with or against the current, to strive to control or change this in one way or another, causes karma and pain.

Accept grace. Look at the known (objects that make up the play) with the knower's eyes. Be the awareness.

The One who slept

Look! Wow!!

(A gentle hand). Be still. Smile. Find wholeness within.

Oh! Oh no! 

(A reassuring touch). Be still. Smile. Find contentment within. 


God is at play here.

The entirety of God is here. I find it inside. Always here for me.

At last I can catch myself at the start of the surge toward or away from. Soon after an instant in which I have travelled so far, and not at all.

My dharana: I look around with a new awareness, strengthened each day with practice.

There is only One here. 

My dharana: All of this, including me, is One. How peaceful it is to have no other. Endless, perfect solitude. This unity consciousness surges through me as great bliss.

How my Lord loves to be found, observed and known with the awakening gaze of one who has slept.

I awaken in Your arms.

How my Lord loves to be found, observed and known with the awakening gaze of one who has slept  

Become that

What about today? Now?

Yesterday I felt this immense experience and manifestation of grace. Yesterday.

How can I keep that going? How can I hold onto it, build on it, and not let it slip away? asks my mind. Am I losing what is precious, and missing a precious opportunity to have what I most want in this life? There will be devastating regret. So says my mind's mighty "fear of regret" samskara.

Thinking I have to build on grace is an attempt to add to what is divine and unlimited. No.

(Thinking of) yesterday happens only in my mind. Why hang out in my mind when all that I most want is already attained??

Lord Krishna looks on as Arjuna kneels to receive the
precious gift of bow and arrows from Lord Shiva

I help my mind. A dharana.

What about today? Now? What is the sadhana of my heart, where there is no "here" or "there," no limitations, outside of time?

Start here: Offering the fruits to Krishna is the beautiful pranam of my soul. He is always there with a playful, gentle surge of love. Play, he says. When Krishna shakes his curls, the play of the world surges with universal longing.

There is a most precious gift of grace in this moment. Become that.

This moment is not a vehicle

This moment is not a vehicle. I do nothing with it.

I absorb this truth as bliss: the highest is already attained.

From before

When you look around with eyes closed

what do you see?

When you feel more is near, somehow,
someone...

Presence.  Flow.

No words. No names. From before.

Nothing that can be more new to me,

But together, we are so very old.

Bondage for me

Do not think about enlightenment – look at your limitations and how to go beyond them. That’s the way to progress.  ~ Sadhguru

My path is the down low. My sadhana is the "how" of how I work with my limitations. How I stay awake. How I stay open to Guru's grace. How my limitations dissolve in Her love.

The rest is bondage for me.

Effortless

Every few minutes... every few hours...

My mind spins down. So whisper soft as it comes to a stop.

And I become soft, my eyes gently close as I float in effortless meditation.

Get out of the way

 

 

Get out of the way. Get out of the way.

Each moment of transcendence and bliss, my true nature. Only my mind thinks that something is missing.

My mind thinks I am attaining something, and tries to control it, tries to learn how to keep it. My mind keeps leaping in to grasp and move and amplify.

Get out of the way. Get out of the way of grace, unfettered grace.

Sadhguru: Devotion

"This is something I want everyone to understand: Your devotion is not doing anything to your deity – it is transforming you. If you do not know how to use your devotion to transform you, it becomes deceptive. If you look at things as high and low, superior and inferior, good and bad, you have not tasted the Divine. Don’t look up to anything – don’t look down on anything. If you pay absolute attention to everything, you will see something tremendous in everything. If I see an ant, that ant is my Ishta Devata at that moment..."

"Devotion is a tool to dissolve yourself into what you are doing. This is a way to access intelligence and insight well beyond your normal intellect. You will see things that others would never be able to see. Devotion is not only about going to the temple, breaking coconuts, or doing pooja. Devotion means involvement with no limits, prejudice, and conditions. Who you are dissolves in your activity, as if you are not there. That is when you are a true leader. That is when you are a true devotee."

isha.sadhguru.org/blog/sadhguru/spot/my-ishta-devata/

Fear her when

she 
has 
been through 
hell. 
so believe me when 
I say, 
fear her when she looks 
into a fire and smiles.

e.corona

Awakening me

So recent, I remember.

Shakti and bliss would start in me. And I sprang into action!

What does it mean? How can I keep it? How can I increase it?

How should I think about it to control it, make it larger, keep it from going away?

What should I be doing? What if I don't do it right and I lose it??

Recently.

Now the shakti and bliss comes, and I breathe deeply. I open myself to whatever will happen.

Thank you for this shakti and bliss. 

Perhaps it is my Guru sending me shakti, awakening me.

Be awake. Be alive. Be now. Become more transparent with every breath. Feel your heart open.

And I breathe deeply.