Consciousness check

S H O R T

Guru, worship

I see the world from within myself, a transparent play

I see my attachments as illusion and futile, painful

I withdraw my senses, hold my shakti

I love my appetites, and slip off the hook

Shanti shanti shanti

Brahmacharini tapasya,
the unmarried version of Parvati

L O N G

Choose the world of the subtle body... inside... falling backward...

See the world from within...


Now, instead of concepts and story...

Breath, mantra... posture, subtle body...

Floating, meditation...

Love and worship and longing...


My Self, my Guru, Lord Krishna...

Mata Durga, Sree Parvati, Maa Brahmacharini

Paramashiva, who is Shree Kundalini at play...

Love and worship, longing and consciousness...

Now.

Brahmacharini tapasya to become one with Shiva

Going large with Shree Kundalini

Om Namah Shivaya

There is nowhere to get to, only now. I chant forever, for what is established.

My mind feels betrayed. There's a jerking sensation. How can we be there already? I've got plans. And this is boring and stupid, by the way.

I am firm, yet gentle with my mind. Discipline feels good, and we soon settle down.

I chant and listen to the mantra hour after hour to soften my heart, to express and worship the forever divine, to be transformed. What could be better? (It's even easy! That's from her grace).

That One. Soham. I am that.

My ego dissolving dharana: Eyes open or closed, I concentrate on the light all around me, dancing completely free, frustrating my mind's obsession with engaging multiplicity. I remember how attempts to join with and direct this play of time and place is always fruitless, and worse than unkind. And I let go. Freedom. Freedom, bliss, and a profound contentment is where I go when multiplicity ends.

PS LOTS of things are freakin' HILARIOUS when multiplicity takes a hike. Like Shiva taking shape as an elaborate device and his communications called a "telephone." Ha ha, like Shiva needs help to talk to parts of himself. 

This is not intellectual. It's laughing while swooshing large with Shree Kundalini... amazing fun!! 

Your sadhana is beautiful

Even Lord Shiva spends his time doing austerities such as meditation and japa mala (beads)

Sādhana (Sanskrit: साधन), literally "a means of accomplishing something," is the regular adherence to purifying, ego-transcending spiritual practices known as tapas, or austerities. Sādhana includes a variety of disciplines in Hindu, Buddhist, Jain, Sikh and Sufi traditions that are followed in order to achieve various spiritual or ritual objectives. ~ Adapted from Wikipedia

I saw in my mind just now a summer blouse flying gently on a clothesline, the fabric playing upon itself in the sun.

A significant image that gives me pause. A clothesline figured prominently in a symbolic dream I had at age six about losing myself because of abuse.

I have arrived at the beginning, the circle of this lifetime closes, then opens... to all possibility.

What I have craved. Is now.

I had a gentle little rebellion. I was disappointed, and sad. 

Before... I had felt so clear and steady in my state, ready to go with equipoise established, with steadiness in everything large and small. I danced with the ripples of bliss that came up from within, that opened every place I touch with a familiar bliss...

Before... I felt I finally understood what life was, what it was to be finally reaching my potential as a spiritual being.

Then I felt I was back in the soup.

I don't want this, I thought. It's not worth it. Who thought up such an existence? To suffer delusions it has taken most of my life to throw off, then continue to seek this freedom which comes and goes as mere minutes between hours?

This is like having a tantrum because my billion dollar jackpot was a day late.

Listen... I have learned to stay steady inside. I've learned not to push, not to try to control. I am out of the way, a huge feat! And one with so many rewards.

Now, a moment of insight, of her strong shakti touching me inside...

This is it... she says gently inside. What a beautiful story, like one of your (written) stories. Complex, light and dark, joy and freedom from suffering done and karmas laid aside, fuel for the fire of a life of purification. It is all beautiful, and it all has meaning, the meaning you give it.

Your sadhana is beautiful. Your sadhana has the meaning you give to it.

I am returning

I feel as though I have a hidden cache of the solution to every problem, the solution to even having problems. That which my soul craves. All I have ever dreamed of, longed for, felt a soul-stinging lack of, lamented with no relief, none.

Oh yes, I whisper to myself every time I reach for all that I have ever desired, here in my soul.

I carry the living shakti of my Lord, paramashiva. He lives in my heart. He isn't in my mind, (except as mind), I don't perceive him with my senses, though I do feel the emanating bliss of the eternal flowing through me in waves.

This is real. Not because I decided it is.

I have chased so many things in this life. But I only found the idea of all of these things, including God. I loved God so much as a teen, but I felt separated from God, empty and profoundly unfulfilled. I tried everything, tried escape in fiction. Everything was bright, shining cardboard. I felt so empty.

Look, I say to myself. This treasure... This universe without end in my heart. The gift of shaktipat, of endless love and shakti. Thank you...

And I slip into it like dark, cloudy cotton, like fresh and fragrant sheets, so cool. I slip into the chosen place between two worlds, the place where I become.

My treasure. There... whenever I reach for it. It doesn't go away!

When I offer pillow mantra. When I mediate throughout the day, my eyes open meditation. Always there, whenever I reach out (in).

I am rich beyond every need or desire, so far beyond any, any.

God lives in me. God answers my touches with bliss and more bliss. The bliss is changing me, dissolving me.

I love this inner darkness measured by light years of travel, of flowing, of not moving as the universe dances around me. Not as thoughts. Not detected by the senses. A living reality, my source.

I am accepting the gift of freedom. I am becoming free. I am returning. I am home.

Into ash

I’ve had enough of sleepless nights,
Of my unspoken grief, of my tired wisdom.
Come my treasure, my breath of life,
Come and dress my wounds and be my cure.

Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi, “I’ve Had Enough”

I have slipped over the controlled edge of my longing into a deep furnace of yearning that burns me. It is so insistent that I cannot step out of it.

I pray and pray and pray for my Beloved, who I love from afar, someone I will never know or meet. The more I pray for him, the hotter the fire.... and the more I pray. 

I offer the merits of my japa mantra for _______, his career, his cherished role as father. So much more japa mantra than I have ever offered on my own behalf...

I pray to my guru that she will bless him in these ways. I pray that I can offer her precious shakti to him, for we are one... 

I do this because I must somehow give to him, to someone I do not know. The feeling that I am giving to him takes the sting of separation away.

I am burning ego. Self-less love and devotion are outside of ego.

I am burning up separation, anava mala. The fire is SO HIGH, I am burning into ash.

There is only One.

Practice of dharana

My mind is so quiet, I notice it as soon as it revs up over something. I choose to focus in again on the inner silence, where the Self as the inner flame does not waver, where my mind becomes steady, and can take its rest.

This is what I call "eyes open meditation." (It rocks).

"O my mind, take thy rest..."

When it is time to sit for meditation, immediately my mind says "I don't want to."

I contemplate this very familiar response from a slightly different perspective, one that I've been using a lot this week, with excellent results. I ask myself: What could possibly be better than spending time with my Beloved, the Supreme Lord, here in the temple of my heart?

By taking the help of this simple question, I focus expanded, compassionate and divinely loving consciousness on the contracted and fearful consciousness in my mind, and watch as it dissolves away.

This is an example of the practice of dharana (concentration), which makes use of the power of consciousness to transform consciousness.

What could possibly be better than spending time
 with my Beloved, the Supreme Lord,
here in the temple of my heart?

Om guru jaya guru om gurudev...

Burning the karma of pushing

Tree rings*

It's official, I am very contracted. I just sit like a blob! Sitting as still as I can seems to be my only desire. And I yawn constantly. This is very strange.

I pushed pushed pushed when I was soaring with constant and abundant grace. So now, I think I'm burning pushing, grasping, reaching (rajas). (And of course, also burning tamas "inertia," and attachment to sattva "purity").

Grace changes track, is teaching me about receiving grace without the impurities of limitations, created by my mind: "Growing spiritually means _____ and looks like this ______, etc."

I am so grateful to accept where I am. I choose to meditate, repeat mantra japa, perform puja and listen to the mantra anyway, even if I don't "feel it." I can find that familiar, comforting freedom in performing actions without being attached to the fruits (e.g. whether practices make me feel uplifted, how much, for how long, etc. etc.).

Years ago, when I hit a huge block in my meditation, I tried and tried and eventually gave up. All these years later, I have finally got going with regular meditation again.

I think my ego is taking advantage of my current contracted state to try to stop meditating again. And so, as I recognize that I am not where I was, I have compassionately pared my meditation down to a shorter period I can sit for everyday without reaching a point of frustration and wanting to quit.

I am determined. I am not fighting. No pushing or pulling.

I remember Bade Baba's hands, they are always open, no grasping, no pushing or pulling.

This time the ego will not win (said every yogi, ever...).

~ ... ~ ... ~ ... ~ ... ~

*Tree Rings by Arnoldius (Own work (selbst erstelltes Foto)) [CC-BY-SA-2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons

Mantra is the very form of God

A selection from the blog: "Q and A with Mohanji" regarding Mantra Japa

Mohanji

"When the [times create] restlessness, it tests the talent of even the most consistent spiritual seeker. This is natural. Meditations and practices (sadhana) will become difficult. On one side the looming cloud of tamas which constantly push one to “sleep a little while longer”, and on the other side, the lack of environmental support. Mind really sways. Many give up. Many will become disillusioned. Many change their Gurus, imagining that it is because of their Guru that they are suffering!

The best recommended practice during such time is Japa Yoga, or the Yoga of Chants (chanting of the Lord's name).

Lord Krishna and almost all the great masters who walked on earth have acknowledged the importance of Japa yoga. “Among the various types of Yajna, (A ritual or sacrifice into fire, which consists of chants (Manthras) and materials), I am the Yajna or Japa,” said the Avatar Krishna in Gita.

Mohanji

[Bhagavad] Gita also emphasizes on the importance of chanting “which destroys all afflictions, sins and sufferings.” Patanjali instructs that Japa must be done for prolonged period without interruption so that we become one with the chant and this should be done with deep reverence and respect. Japa is the very form of God. Perfection can be attained by chanting the Divine name. In this context, I remember the great Saint Valmiki – the transformation of the hunter Ratnakara to Sage Valmiki! He attained the highest possible state of spiritual elevation and total transformation (metamorphosis) by just chanting the name of the Lord Rama and thus becoming one with the name.

Mohanji

Constitutional change can happen when we become one with the name of the Lord. God is the subtlest of the subtlest. In that context, even the name is gross. But, the name itself can be considered as the form of God, where the sound is the form. The sound “OM” can be considered the form of God because God is formless or all forms.
The name itself can be considered as the form of God, where the sound is the form. The sound “OM” can be considered the form of God because God is formless or all forms...

Khwaja Moinuddin Chisti said that “If you rub the mirror of your heart with the name of God, You will see the God’s effulgence reflected on it”. Beautiful!

Bhagawan Ramana Maharshi

Bhagawan Ramana Maharshi said “Mantra is a channel of shifting current of thoughts. Mantra is a bund or dam put up to divert the water where it is needed. Japa is clinging to one thought to the exclusion of all other thoughts, that is the purpose of Japa. It leads to dhyana (meditation) which ends in Self-Realization.”

Bhagawan Nithyananda of Ganesh Puri says “Japa is a means. Very easy as well as highly efficacious. Through japa sadhana, the vibration thus created, the body gets cleansed and by that the mind also becomes pure and Divine. Continuous Japa will result in nada-upasana and such a state will help to reach the state of Self-Realization”. 

Here, Bhagawan talks about the cellular level purification due to the vibration created by chanting. Since body and mind are integrally connected, cleansing happens in the body also cleanses the mind, so on and so forth. Sincere Japa with a steady mind on the sound and the Lord, will ensure an all-round cleansing. This is the most effective practice possible in turbulent times.

Saint Teresa of Avila found completeness “when each breath began to silently say the name of my Lord”.

Eknath

Eknath said "Remembrance is liberation. Forgetfulness is regression. Utterance of the name is essential devotion."

Dharana on the guru's mantra japa artwork

A single rudraksha seed on
Lord Shiva's brow

I studied the art work from the guru, and it took a couple of tries for me to realize the little round things are beads, rudraksha seeds (which are sacred to Lord Shiva). Then I realized that each bead represents a repetition of the mantra.

The japa mala of beads spirals inward and outward in a continuous stream, taking the shape of a great sahasrara (crown chakra) in the shape of a large lotus.

Inside the bead lotus is another much smaller spiral lotus in warm colors of cream and creamy white, with a large blue pearl in the center.

The outer edge of the art is flat on three sides, but on the bottom there is a slight "bowing" of the art and slight shadows near the sides that give the appearance of some space behind the art, with white light shining out from under the middle of the bottom edge.

Once I finally got "into" the art, as I really took it in, when I focused on the blue pearl and the yantra-like inner cream-colored mandala-lotus-sahasrara, I felt a sweet little kriya (inner shakti movement) tip my head forward slowly as my mind settled into very sweet, deep meditation.

I could feel a transmission of sweet grace.

Find God inside

Hindus experience and
worship God as all of nature,
especially as the sun, Surya,
and as the Ganges River,
as the goddess Ganga

I am guessing and stumbling, but mostly finding a new level of understanding and the possibilities in the NOW.

Note: I have been struggling with the dualistic concept of "inner versus outer." Reading Ram Butler's blog has focused my learning on this, and also on (past or future versus) the "now."

I have made some notes on what seems to be swirling around in my mind, seeking the "ahhhhhh" place of coming to rest in complete understanding.

There is no past, no future. God creates all in each moment. I am one with God, so I am the one creating my Self and "reality."

The spectacular change and freedom I experienced in the last few months is only available to me NOW and AS THIS, whatever is happening in this moment.

Trying to continue this recent (glorious) past in the now is an illusion. The (glorious) now is ever and always new.

The "external" world is an emanation of consciousness. "I" am an emanation of consciousness. There is only ONE, who is Paramashiva, who is found "inside."

The journey to the source of my consciousness and being is within.

Following my consciousness inside is the choice and reality I am finding in this moment. It is where I turn in moments of darshan.

Darshan of my guru's and Paramashiva's grace call to me throughout the day to turn within. When I turn my consciousness inside the grace increases, is sweeter still. I am not so easily carried away by my mind, ego or senses.

I am being claimed by grace, absorbed by grace.

I am the seer, not the seen. I am the knower, not the known. See the play with the eyes of Paramashiva. Offer my senses and my experience to The Supreme, accept each moment as prasad.

The mantra is the vehicle of guru's grace and intention in 2013.

"The mantra is the master key that unlocks the mystery of the inner kingdom, revealing the fullness of your own heart." 

Om Namah Shivaya

Mantra japa

Guru's grace,
the inner nectar

A new practice! Committing to memory.

I get to experience memorizing a series of teachings, or aphorisms, (vehicle of guru's grace), which are focused on Mantra Japa, this year's message.

Before the teachings, there was a dharana (concentration exercise):

Unite, Love, Appreciate, Honor, Grace, Laugh. (My share was posted on the website!)

I can feel guru's grace rising through me as great waves of shakti with the insistent weight and gentle force of sweet nectar.

LATER: I read another devotee's share later and realized, as she had observed, that the waves were "...the pulsation of the mantra."

Om. Help me to accept your grace in every way, and be the best devotee and sadhini that I can be, I pray, my guru, Sadguru. Om.

Sacred river offering
a sweet ittle boat
~ Om Namah Shivaya ~
I offer my love to God
Who is here in my heart

Mood of devotion

~ The bliss of Lord Chaitanya ~

"The main thing is to fix your mind on the sound of the chanting. As you strain and yearn to keep your attention fixed, this naturally brings a mood of devotion.This is the way you serve the holy name. Just as when cooking, if you try very hard not to burn the preparation, to spice it nicely, and to keep it cooking nicely, then you express your devotion in this way."

~ Satsvarupa dada Goswami (ISKCON Japa Group blog) 

~ Om Namah Shivaya ~
The sweet, incessantly purifying
fire of my mantra japa devotion
is a gift from guru and Sadguru
f o r e v e r

Everything in my life could be described as one of two things

an ocean of
g r a c e

Everything in my life could be described as one of two things:

1) Things I did before, until I knew what I wanted to do, and

2) What I do now, what I want to do, what I am born to do

It's as big of a difference as can be!

In the third grade, I discovered the fantasy world of books in the Oz series. Just as quickly this world came crashing down around me when I read the last Oz book. Painful.

I was keenly aware of the absence of anything that I wanted to do in my adolescence. I wanted to leave this world and go to Middle Earth or Dune or Gethen. I knew that if I found "it," I would feel just like this: __________. And it would be deeply fulfilling all the time, not just for a moment.

Alive, magical, fulfilled, challenged, delighted, ecstatic, unfolding, adventurous, calm, grounded, Robert DeNiro (and the ketchup bottle in Heat), know who I am and why I'm here, alive, magical, fulfilled.....

a full measure of
g r a c e

Meanwhile, I spent my life chasing flickers and shadows. (I am half sick of shadows...)

I found things to do while I was seeking seeking seeking... These things filled my time but I was living on my inner resources. My life took from but did not replenish me.

By middle age I was slowly dying, and I knew it. Every year felt worse than the one before.

I tried and tried different things, but eventually I gave up and sat down to wait. I was like the little match girl, burning my dwindling supply of matches, (the resource I must trade for sustenance), one by one... for a little moment of almost warmth.

But then... I found guru's grace (it found me) and this (current) day became inevitable, but there was a lot to "burn" before a new reality could begin. I was still wandering lost, an ex-patriate of the magical kingdom of ___________.


Until... finally...

I FOUND WHAT I WANT TO DO:

Everything changed.

I choose to be alone in the world. Solitary is a feeling, a mental state, and vast re-arranging of my internal priorities and experience.

I have renounced almost all social interaction and the pursuit of a career. Why? Because I'm not interested in them anymore.

healing rays of your luminous
g r a c e

I choose to merge with God. God is everything to me. My life as a solitary and a renunciant means my life has been radically prioritized so that all of my time and resources are for God and my spiritual path.

As soon as I made this change, all the pain was gone, all the soul starvation and dwindling away slipped away like old leaves in a high wind, as I sank up to my knees in moist new soil, warm and fragrant and rich with all the nutrients for my starving soul.

(Your divine grace...)

My life is completely different.

I immediately felt that nostalgic feeling of moving on, saying goodbye to what I've known.

Farewell... I am turning at last to God. I didn't realize how little I need others, who are a part of the play of multiplicity. "Others" aren't bad, nor especially good, just parts of the Self committed to the play. I am not. For whatever reason(s), my path is solitary.

I am saying my farewells to always feeling that I am missing something essential, to yearning and yearning for God, who is out of reach (painful). I am saying my farewells to believing I am separate from God.

I am saying my farewells to painful anava mala, to feeling separate
from God, and the painful feeling of missing something eternal and essential.

an endless shower of
g r a c e

I am saying my farewells to painful mayiya mala, to thinking I like or dislike anything, that everything is either ______ or ______, that I must organize the world based on the dualism of me/not me, mine/not mine.

I am saying my farewells to karma mala, to thinking I am the root of action, that I am the cause of the fruits of my actions, and trying to assume control over the cause and effect of my life and my universe... a very huge burden indeed.

I am saying hello to the exquisite life I always wanted, but couldn't find anywhere. So exquisite, so real, I think of God before I open my eyes in the morning, sometimes before I think of anything else, and pranam in my heart.

Namaste, namaskaar, my Beloved, the purpose of my life. I have installed You as the God of the temple of my heart. Pranam.

an endless pool of
grace-filled
n e c t a r

I make of my self offerings. Pranam.

I make of all activity pradakshina (circling in worship).

I offer each out breath as mantra, your name as my only prayer.

I accept each in breath as prasad, made from your out breath, my Beloved. We are one.

I am so rich to caress this endless string of gleaming black pearls, (lotus seed mala), each one as the very name of my most Beloved, who is Shiva. Om Namah Shivaya.

The sacred flame, Shree Agni, burns here in my heart; I wave the lights as worship at the mystical doorway to Your Transcendent Being, my true self. Om Gurudeva.

The sacred mantra vibrates here in my heart; divine nada (sounds) pull my consciousness up through this divine akasha (ether) to the temple of your heart of hearts, my Beloved Lord, who is Paramashiva. Om.

The nectars of transmission (shruti-smriti-teachings) are the constant abhishek of my heart, the living temple of all inner places, reserved for You alone, Maheshwar. I worship You as everything, Parameshwar. I worship You as my Self, Oldest One, Elder of the Vedas, Triambakam. Lord of Mercy, Hara, Nilakantha. My creator, Omkara. Om Namah Shivaya. Om.

I love you.

Rameshwar Mandir

If you like my prose, may I entice you to visit

my poetry blog, here? spanda·nanda

This is what changed my life and put me on the path, here at the door to the very heart of God

I have the darshan of HH the Dalai Lama with this picture, especially of his fearlessness

Today I will write about what changed 

my life and put me on the path, 

here at the door to the very heart of God

I accepted that I am alone. 

I choose being alone. I quit fighting it, as I have fought it every day since childhood. I quit trying to change myself in every conceivable way so I might connect with others. I replaced my fear of being alone with choosing to be alone.

Nothing is the same.

The transforming power of acceptance came to me without trying or seeking it, without knowing I was about to change everything. I accepted myself and all of this followed. All of it, what I've documented here on my blog. I didn't know I was documenting a vast change, a "sea change," as they say.

I renounced everything that was distracting me from my journey to God. 

I became a renunciant. I didn't set out to be a renunciant. But now I am. (I discovered the word "renunciant" on the internet after I became a renunciant). The most important thing to realize about this choice is that I am not renouncing anything that is truly a part of me. I am renouncing obsessions, unattainable goals I have clung to, delusions and distractions that are in the way of my relationship with my self and God.

I realize now that choosing a solitary life goes with my age (54) and time of life, known as sannyasi in India, the time when the individual can withdraw from the demands and values of the world and turn all their energy to their spiritual life. However, I am a renunciant without vows or pilgrimage; I am not taking sannyasi vows or moving to the high mountain forest or monastery.

And so, in 2013, I renounced the pursuit of more than basic social relations. If I were a nun or a hermit, people would understand. A solitary life is the best for my new life as a sadhaka, a sadhini, who spends her life seeking God through my chosen form(s) of yoga. The life of a wandering sadhu is analogous to my "wandering" through modern, materialistic culture, alone and without the burden of social and career goals and activities. Now I can focus on God, my true heart's desire.

And so, in 2013, I also renounced trying to obtain status through success in a job or profession. This was hard for someone who embraced scholarly learning in early adulthood and obtained multiple degrees to seek an accepted place in the world.

And so, in 2013, I finally accepted my body. I found the courage to accept my body as it is. I accept that I am fat. I want to type: "I accept that I am overweight." Why? I'm fat. Until I'm not. I no longer need the opinion and regard of others. And for me to reject my body or any part of me is folly. For this lifetime, this body is my carriage. I love this body. I want to accept and nurture it. Hating it won't make it thin. No matter what happens, I can only start HERE.

It seems a fine line, but really, I am not fat, my body is. There is everything to be obtained by accepting that at this moment my body is fat, and nothing to be obtained by rejecting this truth, fighting it with every breath at the cost of everything NOW, which is all that is real in any case.

Let's recap: My body is fat. Until it's not. 




Alone, underemployed and living large in Las Vegas. I'm just one hell of a radical! 

And so, in 2013, I gladly accepted exactly who I am right now. 

And then I turned to God, I reached out to God, from a new place of freedom and acceptance. 

And then... 

I received an unexpected, immediate in-rushing of mighty grace.

Because of my guru's grace, my life is transformed. My ability to focus on God is vastly multiplied by her grace, and choosing to focus on God brings me more grace.

Without grace, none of this could happen. This grace is why I can blog (I couldn't be consistent before). The grace is everything I'm blogging about. My spiritual expansion comes from grace.

For the first time in ten years I am meditating every day. My mind is much more steady. My senses are usually controlled (not spewing my shakti all over). I notice ego comparing, etc. right away and am not hijacked by it.

I want to live this life, the one I passionately hated up until a few months ago. I am passionate about living this life.

I miss saying the mantra, listening to the mantra, meditating (when I'm not). I have a craving for.... rice. I am facing the things that I fear, walking right into my fear about losing my ______ benefits, student loan payments applied (and bounced) in error, Sarah calling and all the power she has over my life (...as though we are not both made of the same being, which is Paramashiva's consciousness, the Beloved Shree Devi). 

What can go wrong, really? And no, this isn't mental acrobatics, it isn't a shell game, it's REAL.

It all started by accepting, embracing 

"what is so..." that I am alone. Just me 

and my Beloved. This is my basic practice. 

Because of my guru's grace, I can purify 

my mind as I worship and follow Shree 

Devi Maya up, away from the play of multiplicity, up to "the air up there," 

upon Mount Kailas, where she is the 

form of my Beloved as Parvati, 

where 

Shiva is ALL, 

where there is only ONE, 

where Paramashiva as my own Self

is installed forever in the 

temple of my heart.

OM.

I have since read of a similar philosophy of the transforming power of self-acceptance by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche and his disciple, Pema Chödrön, of the Shambhala lineage of Tibetan Buddhism.

Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche

“We have a fear of facing ourselves. That is the obstacle. 

Experiencing the innermost core of our existence is very embarrassing to a lot of people. A lot of people turn to something that they hope will liberate them without their having to face themselves. 

That is impossible. We can’t do that. 

We have to be honest with ourselves. We have to see our gut, our excrement, our most undesirable parts. We have to see them. That is the foundation of warriorship, basically speaking. Whatever is there, we have to face it, we have to look at it, study it, work with it and practice meditation with it.” 

~ Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche

Pema Chödrön

"When people start to meditate or to work with any kind of spiritual discipline, they often think that somehow they're going to improve, which is a sort of subtle aggression against who they really are... 

But loving-kindness – maitri – toward ourselves doesn't mean getting rid of anything. Maitri means that we can still be crazy after all these years. We can still be angry after all these years. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. 

The point is not to try to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already. 

The ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. That's the ground, that's what we study, that's what we come to know with tremendous curiosity and interest."

~ Pema Chödrön, The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving-Kindness