Internal body

An excerpt from "Yoga and Short Shorts: A Revolution" by Amy Jirsa, published in Elephant Journal:

"A true yoga practice... is one in which you are focused on the internal body. And hey, guess what’s in there? Lots and lots of darkness. Demons. Lies. Self-delusion/hatred. Whatever you want to call it. A true yoga practice will stir those bad boys up and when that happens (and it will happen) you have two choices: you face them and breathe through the whole lot, or you give up and walk away."

This bit of gospel truth applies to all types of yoga, and most certainly to the experience of sadhana.

Part of my complete bliss now is that I need not defend myself from darkness and fear. This is a freedom that makes me... fearless. And the fearlessness makes facing fear (by experiencing it as consciousness) even easier, exhilarating even. It is a very powerful process that is dramatically changing my experience of "bad" emotions.

Offering distressing emotions to my Lord by opening to them as consciousness causes far less discomfort than my usual way of trying to deal with "disowned" emotions, which is trying to control them, wrestle them into a form I can deal with, and pushing as much of such feelings down and away as possible. These strategies of course mean I must always remain defended against these feelings.

And so, the courageous path immediately pays off. It is the less painful path. Brilliant.

So much better, now... I notice immediately when the fear begins, and instead of pushing it away, I turn to it and open to it as consciousness, as part of the divine chiti shakti, the dance of my Lord. It is a rush, a sudden river of dark fear flowing through my being, my heart and my gut, loose at last, dancing its way up to the stars and the universe, free again, free at last.

I can do this only because of the grace of my guru, who is one with the Supreme Guru, Lord Shiva. Om guru om.