Pure gold

In this moment, the shakti wells up as bliss... and I remember the stories with sadhakas who sat and swayed in a state of bliss. I thought I was so far away from this state.

In this moment, this is my sadhana.

I have had a crisis for a few weeks. What is my sadhana? I thought it was to shape my consciousness with my will, to see and experience what is truth, and real.

But then I found that my mind crumbles and rebuilds itself. There will be no permanence there, no matter how strong my will.

Without the discipline, I have been thrashed around, undercut by fear, falling into whole caverns of dark confusion.

I threw out my goals. Becoming perfected in this moment doesn't work without a way to STAY perfected. And I am changing every moment. So confusing.

I need my guru's phone number!! No, she teaches me inside.

Well. What, what then? What is my path??


Today, I am swaying with the bliss that is bubbling up again.

In this moment, my path is bhakti. Bliss. I am being purified and transformed by bliss. It dissolves my mind. It dissolves my ego, the ever changing field of my being.

Slipping away...

This bliss, Mata Kundalini, is made of pure gold.