Stillness

I've stopped doing. I am cradled in stillness. This is moving, but I am not. How good it feels to just stop.

I need not move

I stopped searching and closed my eyes

A focused point at the center of the play of action

Duty is what remains

This is my joy

I take the step back in my consciousness. My mind stills, focuses to a point and is absorbed. A profound stillness.

And now for the first time I recognize myself, know myself as the presence there.

This is pratyabhijna. Recognition.

All of this is a game, I thought... fond of it, a pet project. 

And then I smelled a very particular smell. It was strong enough to catch my attention. It was the smell of rubber, the rubber that was used to make the squishy gentle balls we played four-square with when I was in elementary school. I remember how I loved that game, the joy it brought me. I could feel that joy in my body, remembering.

No words were required to tell me, to show myself, this is my joy...

Funny

The things that used to exasperate me, upset me, discourage me.... now they make me laugh.

How funny, life takes these funny turns. Funny.

Wake up

I am asleep. I want to wake up.

Happy Mahashivaratri!!

Om Om Om Shanti Shanti Shanti All love and worship for my Lord

To my beloved readers: Happy Mahashivaratri 2015 !!

This is Shaivism

This is Shaivism...

http://www.lakshmanjooacademy.org/excerpts/

Yearning

So much yearning, I cannot sleep, I sleep with no covers in January, I go out in a t-shirt and sandals in January. I am hot, hot with desire.

I long for you, my Beloved. This longing is all I possess, I carry it for You. The torch of my heart.

Let me be burnt up so I can be One with You.

Yearning...

The common soul of tweets

I drag my myth around with me

The common soul of tweets

... and everything returns to where it always belonged ...

Divine love: The common soul of tweets

Came across this tweet: "Something is happening and I'm no longer resisting."

The theme song for (my) now...

...Reminds me that "we" are all on this ride, and the currents of divine love cradle us all.

PS I know... mixed metaphors!

The grace of my guru

I chose to step back, my attachments falling away. I turned away from the world, still there, still my story, but not in my heart, not the story of my love.

God is here, in my heart. There is only this love. Doing is what happens. Love is what is.

I notice right away every time ego tries to take credit, to say this is me. And I am not often trapped by the habits of limited consciousness. I can feel the worst, the deep messy day of swirling feelings, and calmly await whatever is next. I have the freedom to not give up my freedom, over and over in many ways.

Over and over, when once it was days... now it is hours or minutes until I turn back inside to the welcoming bliss. I sink into the bliss and am absorbed by the one I love. I look at "myself" and all "around me" and it is all He. 

There are so few words to describe it; I walk about in this state, carried on this sure current of bliss and love. 

The karmas that burn are like a quiet festival of memories slipping by... slipping by.

There is only this love, and indescribable bliss. Bliss and love are dissolving me, my heart's desire. There is nothing possibly better than this fate: an infinitely moving act of love has overtaken me. 

There is no more waiting. Not because I am finished being dissolved by Love. It is because I have chosen my place in the arms of my Beloved, I share His bliss in all things.

How did this happen? There is only one way.

The grace of my guru.