Sail on

I feel like I've been squeegeed off, a big life-sized wad of karmas slicked off by tapasya and guru's grace.

How do I know? I feel terror, and notice it. I feel confusion, and I am... confused.

I let go of objects, and gravity reaches out, a sudden, eloquent mess... great fun! I am laughing. I am cursing. I am not slipping on it.

My entire orientation has shifted.

I was oriented to winning, succeeding, feeling better, avoiding, controlling, finding out, living better, getting, having, holding on to.

Now I see those currents flowing by, but I am not letting them pull me along, pull me into them, lulled into mental "action" by the magic of maya, the delusion that I am acting, and being acted on.

I am a maze of shifting patterns, some smooth, some bumpy, shakti in flow, bouncing over all that old stuff like a waverider on a choppy sea.

Guru's grace in my sail.... I just keep saying yes to her grace.

When everything changes, again, and all the good happy sadhini yogini feelings go right in the drink...

I smile, and my freedom is far more important.

A minute, a second ago will yank me if I don't let go. It's better to let go, to sail on.