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Tuesday, August 29, 2017

The restless, endless searching

What do I want next? 

I let the eddying curl of a floating appetite slip out of my grasp, expanding as it is dissolving, becoming one with all that I am. Consciousness dissolving consciousness.

How do I avoid disappointment and regret?

I haven't even thought about it. No goals were set. No decisions were made. It just happens, again and again. Grace.

I notice the moment, so many each day. I slip out from the closing hook; lifetimes of grasping, lifetimes of pulling away.

The restless, endless searching stops for a moment.

There is a little prick of pain, the very slight jar of separation. Ouch.

Dissolving karmas, samskaras... what was that? I forget. I need not know. I am forgetting. It has become meaningless.

Then, grace. I am expanding so slightly with a gentle in-rushing of bliss, warmth, and freedom. My birthright.

I don't chase. I don't run away.

I choose freedom.

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