Sometimes I think my sadhana is worthless, my Guru is contemptuous.
Sometimes a beautiful play of loving bliss is lifting through my being; there when I reach for it.
(Sometimes I feel my Guru right behind me, her hand on my shoulder. I have that prickly feeling you have when an unseen someone is in the room).
Hold the mind still. Who cares what this means to my mind. For God's sake, don't let the mind get its hands on it!
I have practiced for years. Hold the mind still when self-pity arises, negative thoughts, fear and making stories. Stop these thoughts on a dime. Holding my mind when good feelings arise is the new challenge.
Hold still. Hold, my mind. Still. Just feel it.
Life doesn't need any help.