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Saturday, August 27, 2016

A new compassion

"Being one with everything is called Great Compassion."
~Venerable Master Bhikshu Heng Tso



I have a new, immediate and deep feeling of compassion for people who are suffering. There were layers over my heart that have slipped away.

I pray for those who have lost so much.

I also recommend donating to the Red Cross if you can. The Red Cross is the largest relief agency in the world. They help earthquake and flood victims, refugees from violence in North Africa, as well as those in many other places who need to somehow find home and safety again.



One of many asylum seekers that brave the perilous trip across the Mediterranean,
his face full of determination and a desperate humanity


Amatrice Italy (earthquake)

Flooding in Louisiana August 2016

Thursday, August 25, 2016

All this bliss

Bliss... bliss... Who is giving me all this bliss on my dear Lord Krishna's birthday?


Prayers for Italy

I am thinking of and praying for the sweet members in the human family who have lost so much, and those who are working so hard after the tragic earthquake in Italy, as well as all people displaced and homeless due to war and strife and flooding.


Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Happy Kirshna Janmashtami 2016!

Happy Birthday Dear Lord Krisha!

Jai Govinda

Lord Krishna is playing his flute for Radha


Chiang Mai Yi Peng Festival and Mae Jo Lantern Release in Thailand

Novice monks release sky lanterns during the Yi Peng Lantern Festival at Wat Phan Tao in Chiang Mai Thailand, held in mid-November.


View more photos on Roy Cavanaghs Thaizer website (thanks!)






HH the 16th Gyalwa Karmapa Rangjung Rigpe Dorje (1924–1981)

The 16th Karmapa was a dynamic, world wide influence similar to other spiritual masters who expanded their lineage of spiritual paths and teachings into India, Asia and the West. These include Swami Muktananda, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Parahamsa Yogananda, Osho and Lakshmanjoo.

The Karmapa lineage is the most ancient tulku lineage in Tibetan Buddhism, predating the Dalai Lama lineage by more than two centuries. 







"Mahamudra meditation aims at actualizing this true nature of mind, allowing the mind to settle in its uncontrived naturalness where there is, in fact, nothing to remove and nothing to achieve because it is pure and perfect in itself at all times. The essence of this practice, along with the complex tradition of philosophy, epistemology, ritual, and meditation, has been transmitted in the Karma Kagyu tradition until the present day."
(From History of the Kagyu lineage on Wikipedia)



"Yet despite this ignorance and its workings, mind’s true nature is always pure. It is buddha nature, unceasing emptiness and luminosity free from all afflictions and defilement." ~ Saraha 







More about the Karma Kagyu lineage and the 17th Karmapa Ogyen Trinley Dorje here
More about the Karma Kagyu lineage and the 17th Karmapa Thaye Dorje here
More about the Karma Kagyu lineage controversy here


All opinions, loyalties and understanding are here respected.


"Beru Khyentse Rinpoche holds a distinct minority view, saying he believes both Karmapas are legitimate. He states' it is possible that there can be two Karmapas in order to benefit sentient beings because the Karmapa can manifest in many different forms' and writes that the 14th Karmapa highlighted that 'in many universes a hundred million Karmapas have manifested. The Karmapa is also the Buddha's emanation, thus until all the thousand Buddhas have come and their doctrine is not diminishing, my activity of the Karmapa emanations will not end.' "  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karmapa_controversy



Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Karma Triyana Dharmachakra

I had the darshan of such a sweet, strong and steady consciousness when I visited the Karma Triyana Dharmachakra Buddhist monastery in Woodstock New York

Reaching to the Guru

Radha Krishna


My newfound sense of rest and delight comes from the Guru.

I feel these things are the birthright of every being. But I have been mistaking the source. If my freedom was delayed, and now arrives. If I have finally through my own efforts pushed aside discomfort and fear. It is not accurate to think that such blessings are here and in reach because of anything except the Guru.

Instead of trying to hold onto this ease, this profound clarity. Instead of reaching for them. My sadhana is now to accept wherever I am in this cycle of consciousness as having, losing and becoming.

Keep my mind out of the way.

Do not try. It is not a "do."

Accept, and reach to the Guru inside.

Tend to my state. Notice. Allow.

Now. Everything is now.

Accept, and reach to the Guru inside.



Sunday, August 21, 2016

Treasures in my heart for You

"He who perceives Me everywhere and beholds everything in Me 
never loses sight of Me, nor do I ever lose sight of him." 
Lord Krishna—The Bhagavad Gita VI:30


The Guru within is everything I desire, that which I have sought all my life. And we are becoming One! We are each other's destiny. 
The Guru is here, has been here all along. My own self, everything. Everyone kept saying, but now I know.
You can't make this stuff up.
I am blessed beyond every blessing. 
I worship You with every moment of worship I have ever felt or offered over lifetimes, stored as treasures in my heart for You. 

Saturday, August 20, 2016

The Guru is inside, the Guru is outside

Ram Dass with Swami Muktananda







"My divine gurubhava became brahma bhava, identification with the Absolute. For a moment I had an intuition of the One in the many, and I lost the ordinary mind that differentiates between the inner and the outer world, that sees the many in the One. I went on repeating 'Guru Om, Guru Om' with the thought, "The Guru is inside, the Guru is outside." 
~ Swami Muktananda











"The Shakti which becomes awake in you and starts working within you is the genuine Guru. Do not think that the Guru and the Shakti and the mantra are different from one another. They are one. Meditate with perseverance, steadfastness, and love, feeling that the Guru dwells within you." 
~ Swami Muktananda






"There is a secret language of silence and smiles understood by mutual lovers, but not noticed by onlookers. In the same way the operation of grace is secret and not spectacular.
~ Shri Ramana Maharshi








Monday, August 15, 2016

It all comes from the Guru

The Inner Presence of the Guru ~ Inner Meditation led by Shakti Butler at Shree Muktananda Ashram


We were meditating on the Guru inside. Jnaneshwar wrote about this in the Jnaneshwari.

I focused, but couldn't see the Guru inside. Not helpful. I quit trying, I thought maybe the Guru was a place.

Immediately I could see the kriyaloka meditation room at the ashram. For the first time, I realized the deep feelings I had there had a quality of presence. And this presence was the Guru.

Like a velvet blanket of hushed awareness enveloping me from without and within, no difference, I dived so quickly to a deep place each evening after dinner, moving swiftly down the hallway and then running down the stairs to the smaller meditation room for ashramites with kriyas. There was usually the same two people there, me and a man I never spoke with, but smiled at a few times when passing.





I am experiencing that all of my spiritual experiences come from the Guru. Intimate. Purposeful. Drawing me to her inside. Inside. It is her always, all the time.

I know these insights seems obvious. Recently my spiritual life has been completely reordered. I have moved my mind out of the way, and I am relearning everything at a much deeper level.

I have had so many profound spiritual experiences, all of which I now look back on with a whole new understanding. Solid.

When I experience moments out of each day when the ashram is "reaching out" to me, uplifting me and my state... that is a spiritual experience.

Gurumayi unseen tapping on my shoulder playfully as I sat with visitors for lunch was a spiritual experience (she had mentioned she did this, which came up casually in our conversation; the look in their eyes at my immediately wide eyes and open jaw with such a quick intake of breath!)




The ashram welcoming me when I first arrived with an experience of seeing all of the ashram as a siddha sees it, as Gurumayi sees it as I wandered around, (phone booths were hysterically funny!!)

Those are all spiritual experiences. And they all come from the Guru, they are the Guru.

We are all one. Everyone is being affected by the Guru, the source, whatever each may call the will and presence of God. 

The Guru is universal. The Guru is the grace bestowing aspect of God.



*Part of my challenge (and confusion) has stemmed from the fact that I am both Mormon and a yogini with a Guru. Family is Mormon. Spiritual sangham is Mormon on the one hand, and Siddha Yoga on the other. I have kept these both separate for as long as I can. My siblings would be upset and judgmental, sure that I've been lured by the devil to a cult (can Kool-Aid be far behind?)

Now that both of my parents have passed on, I have relaxed a little bit. I'm not sure if they've come across my many projects online, and found this blog, for instance. We rarely communicate. I don't know what they know. I suspect I should get over this separation with siblings. But I do keep the Siddha Yoga hidden from my Mormon church folks.


Sunday, August 14, 2016

Muktananda says




Muktananda says:

When you have an intense longing to attain That, when you are thirsty to attain that supreme Truth, then this Truth reveals itself in your own heart.

Where is that place where there is no Self? Who is there who does not have this Self?



Friday, August 12, 2016

My Guru says

My guru says: 

Niścintatā is a Hindi word referring to the state of being in harmony with oneself and one's surroundings.

It is within every seeker's ability to become free from worries. It is possible to experience the absence of mental agitation.


A Coign of Vantage (detail) ~ Sir Alma Tadema

Tulsidas says

If I focus on things in my mind that are convoluted and unhappy, this applying my consciousness to them dissolves them, and I lose the desire to follow them about. They are empty for me. Chasing but never having. Seeking pleasure, but always in pain.

All around me is such beautiful light. It tells a story, but I am never in the story, even when I think I am.

My guru... Only because of your grace.


Tulsidas with Lord Rama, Lakshmana and Hanuman

Tulsidas is a beloved poet saint who lived in India in the early 16th century CE. He was a great devotee of Lord Rama.

Tulsidas says:

Until now, I have frittered my life away, but no longer will it be so.
By the grace of Lord Rama the night of worldly ignorance has passed.
I have awoken and will no longer sleep in darkness.
I have been given the name of my Lord,
the wish-fulfilling gem that will forever abide in my heart.
By meditating on and remembering beautiful, dark-colored Rama,
my mind will be refined into the purest form of gold.
Knowing I was controlled by them, my senses once teased and tempted me.
Now that I have acquired self-control, they tempt me no more.
Tulsidas says: "My mind has vowed to resolve its fickle nature and become immersed in the lotus feet of Rama forever."



Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Waves and waves

The waves of bliss, they bring me home. Nowhere to get to. Nowhere to go.

Nothing but this. Waves and waves of bliss.


Here we are. What can you see?


Saturday, August 6, 2016

Your sadhana is beautiful

Even Lord Shiva spends his time doing austerities such as meditation and japa mala (beads)



Sādhana (Sanskrit: साधन), literally "a means of accomplishing something," is the regular adherence to purifying, ego-transcending spiritual practices known as tapas, or austerities. Sādhana includes a variety of disciplines in Hindu, Buddhist, Jain, Sikh and Sufi traditions that are followed in order to achieve various spiritual or ritual objectives. ~ Adapted from Wikipedia









I saw in my mind just now a summer blouse flying gently on a clothesline, the fabric playing upon itself in the sun.

A significant image that gives me pause. A clothesline figured prominently in a symbolic dream I had at age six about losing myself because of abuse.

I have arrived at the beginning, the circle of this lifetime closes, then opens... to all possibility.

What I have craved. Is now.











I had a gentle little rebellion. I was disappointed, and sad. 

Before... I had felt so clear and steady in my state, ready to go with equipoise established, with steadiness in everything large and small. I danced with the ripples of bliss that came up from within, that opened every place I touch with a familiar bliss...

Before... I felt I finally understood what life was, what it was to be finally reaching my potential as a spiritual being.

Then I felt I was back in the soup.

I don't want this, I thought. It's not worth it. Who thought up such an existence? To suffer delusions it has taken most of my life to throw off, then continue to seek this freedom which comes and goes as mere minutes between hours?


This is like having a tantrum because my billion dollar jackpot was a day late.
Listen... I have learned to stay steady inside. I've learned not to push, not to try to control. I am out of the way, a huge feat! And one with so many rewards.

Now, a moment of insight, of her strong shakti touching me inside...

This is it... she says gently inside. What a beautiful story, like one of your (written) stories. Complex, light and dark, joy and freedom from suffering done and karmas laid aside, fuel for the fire of a life of purification. It is all beautiful, and it all has meaning, the meaning you give it.

Your sadhana is beautiful. Your sadhana has the meaning you give to it.







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