|Severus Snape sacrificed himself to all that unfolded around him, remaining a part of everything sacred and profane. His unique service was to remain present in the events he was born to inhabit with no promise of outcome or reward.|
I can turn my senses completely inward almost entirely at will now (with the support of grace, always). And I can sit like this while consciousness as movement surrounds me. It isn't a struggle, I don't have to regain the same amount of ground to get there.
I think of this as one, I identify with the One, and I am completely in the present, an eternal moment of bliss.
Give me an ocean and I'll turn this ship around. I've come back to the halfway point in the grand circle. When I search for the story in what is here, I notice, and stop. This includes the story of how I will become realized. Yup.
This just is. I don't want any of these karmas. The price is too high. The price is now, and now is where all that is most precious lives. The magical things I've dreamed of since childhood.
It is my guru's intention that I become established in the moment as Supreme Joy. Her grace carries me and I am amazed, shocked really, at how much she is giving me now.
Many need sadhana for attainment. This is a sweet path. But my sadhana is to be in the moment. To accept, all of this. I don't have to overcome anything.
Equipoise is freedom. Once I tasted this freedom, it all began to unravel, all of what I once thought of as important.
This is my form of discipline. It means almost always moving my previous activities–sadhana in all of its forms–gently aside. Don't struggle. Don't reach. Allow. Be.
This is not a mental exercise. I did not think it up, either. It is happening to me. It is real.
I am becoming established in the truth.