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Sunday, December 20, 2015

It is real

Happy, so happy, contentment that none can take away.

I know now it is the gift of my guru. There is nothing to do except love her and acknowledge her grace.

I can stop my mind analyzing. I can stop it slipping into the past or the future.

I finally realized the yantra I see when I close my eyes is something to take the help of when I open them. Sri Kundalini, the voice of my Lord, beckons to me. Be free... be free....

Sri Yantra

I have never gazed at a yantra before, but this one quiets my mind and centers me in the inner stillness, what is real. Then I look about and rejoin maya already in progress. I look at it at various times throughout the day, slipping back into meditation.

I want to be established in this, what is real.

Things that I have spent hours and years on, creating new karmas of concern, worry, perfectionism... I focus this clear consciousness on them and add the willingness to let them go, gently nudging them, slipping them off of me, off of my mind.

Nudge.... slip. I watch them dissolve. They seldom return. They slip away as I stay in the now.

If this takes more than a nudge, I stop. To push on it is a do, it creates story, my mind takes it up, and new karmas begin. No more.

Your words are pure nectar...

My guru's shakti. My guru's shakti. It permeates my subtle body as profound bliss and love. Sometimes I gasp when so much playful bliss pushes up through me... bliss, bliss, bliss.

My physical body sways slightly, completely relaxed. I breathe a little deeper. Every breath.

My guru's shakti. It is an infinite gift. She gives to me. She is giving me everything, all that there is to give. I don't know why.

I am giving her my everything. She is dissolving all that I no longer think of as me. I think enough has been dissolved that the bottom has dropped out. Lucky me!

It is the best experience, beyond any description or measure.

I no longer question, as I have obsessively questioned everything, all of my life.

I no longer question. It is real.

Brother Eknath, I touch your feet

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