Truth be told, my ego is really a pest.
When my mind wants to follow something "difficult" into the past (thinking about it as if it is still present), I have the grace to step away from this old impulse, to stay in the present.
I have had a discipline for a long time now, years I think, where every time I feel hopelessness or self-hatred arise inside, I turn slightly until this feeling goes away.
This is my sadhana. It is internal work. I challenge the samskaras, and grace is dissolving them.
I think my part is that I maintain a steady place inside, my equipoise. Every day a little more firm, more far-reaching. A place for these forms of consciousness to arise in, so I can partake of that steadiness, forming the habit of letting these old habits flow past, as they arise and dissolve.
I don't discuss any of this with anyone. I am not thinking about it, or waiting for it to happen.
This is my sadhana. It's not something I really need to write about, so my posts have become very intermittent. I do want to mention it, because my seva includes sharing my sadhana in this blog.
Be happy, reader. All is well.
This is my sadhana.