How do I know? I feel terror, and notice it. I feel confusion, and I am... confused.
I let go of objects, and gravity reaches out, a sudden, eloquent mess... great fun! I am laughing. I am cursing. I am not slipping on it.
My entire orientation has shifted.
I was oriented to winning, succeeding, feeling better, avoiding, controlling, finding out, living better, getting, having, holding on to.
Now I see those currents flowing by, but I am not letting them pull me along, pull me into them, lulled into mental "action" by the magic of maya, the delusion that I am acting, and being acted on.
I am a maze of shifting patterns, some smooth, some bumpy, shakti in flow, bouncing over all that old stuff like a waverider on a choppy sea.
Guru's grace in my sail.... I just keep saying yes to her grace.
When everything changes, again, and all the good happy sadhini yogini feelings go right in the drink...
I smile, and my freedom is far more important.
A minute, a second ago will yank me if I don't let go. It's better to let go, to sail on.