What I call the "center place," is where I feel cidrūpatā, the touch of God consciousness.
Finally I understand the instruction to focus on the two places where the breath stops.
When I am focused on that place, I leave my breath and the realm of movement, movement which recedes into the background as I turn my senses inward, and I become completely still, no sound or light, only PRESENCE. The most sacred, most blissful presence. Beyond these qualities.
This is cidrūpatā.
This is where the shakti that would go out through the senses is contained (rather than spilt willy nilly).
This is where equipoise comes from, a solid place to "sit" without moving off of it. My mind moves me off, again and again, sends my senses outward again. My discipline is returning again and again.
I have wanted these things for so long.
I can only slip the bonds of maya for one second because of the grace of my guru.
From a lesson given by Swami Laksmanjoo on Tantraloka, Ahnika 5 (not yet published) Universal Shaiva Fellowship