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Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Turning back

“The supreme heaven shines in the lotus of the heart.” 
~ Kaivalya Upanishad

I continue to find it within reach to settle inside of myself as experiencing the play of consciousness, as the eyes of Paramashiva, as the seer rather than the seen, as the knower rather than the known.

(Thank you).

How supremely fortunate I am (oh!).

How supremely fortunate I am to know that this is grace, to experience my return to God as grace, to be softened by this river of grace which pours into me, this upswelling river of fervent gratitude and devotion which I have become, and which is changing the interstitial space between every tiny particle of me, my thoughts and my actions, all changing, all changed.

I feel it still, the balance and direction changing, a shift from the days of turning to God, then turning away... to turning away from God, then turning back.

The eternal tide has changed at last.

(A familiar warmth and bliss affirms this, answers that this is so, inside....)

It is only habit that pulls me back, back into the play of "multiplicity," but the very highest bliss and delight await my return to focus on He who is dark and still inside, who lives inside, is all of me and all of my inner places, where the door of my heart has opened and I know only God is here, formless, still and yet moving with the bliss of spanda, meeting and pouring over my inner worship and love with the bliss of forever, forever and forever...

My Lord...

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