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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Only grace

Grace like a wave scoops me up
(I need only move towards
my destiny)
Wow. I can see more clearly the opportunity here: To stop pushing!

(Not just, well this is cool I'm learning about this...)

The wages of pushing (extreme rajas) are immobility (tamas, which is the other extreme). The wages of one extreme are the other extreme; an all or nothing life of extremes.

Not only that, but pushing, trying, going for it, doing my best for my own actions to create what I want... is based on thinking "what is" is wrong or not enough, and even worse, thinking that I can mess it all up by not doing "it" right.

("It" is realization, enlightenment, established in the Self).

This is one of the most amazing lessons I am learning in my whole life. Stop. Stop trying so hard. Just stop.

RIGHT NOW: I am teasing my INTENTION and determination apart from the rajasic pushing and pulling and reaching for the goal all the time. Sadhana (spiritual discipline) is offered, not actions driven or calculating. Certainly the guru knows what should happen in what order, for how long, etc. If I stop pushing, I can follow her lead in this way, and learn from it.

How? How to be dedicated without believing in the duality of rajas?





RIGHT NOW: I am learning that any and all progress is GRACE. It is always grace.


The world of God is beauty
The world of grace is
enchantment
When I used to wonder why "advanced" forms of attainment, (like recognizing the consciousness of the Self in the form of prakasha, or all this light around me, etc.), seemed to come immediately and so easily to me. My ego would grasp at this "attainment" every time and try to figure out what it meant about me (I'm gifted, I'm extra smart, etc. ..... ?

I often thought that perhaps I must be picking up from a level of attainment in a previous life.

Perhaps this is also true. But just in the last few days, I have become very clear... THE EXPLANATION IS THIS:

GRACE.

When I can, it's grace. When I see, it's grace. Understand? Kriyas and nadas and the blue pearl?? GRACE.

Attainment? GRACE. Always.

I cannot move up through Shree Maya's contraction, the concealing aspect of divine action, holding the world here at the culmination of the 32 tattvas (stages of contraction of God's consciousness into the manifest world). I must have grace, the revealing aspect of God, to expand even the slightest amount. Grace unfolds as expansion up through the tattvas, in my consciousness. When I can reach and maintain the the awareness of the Supreme Lord Paramashiva, I will have achieved liberation.

Because of grace.

Thank you, Gurumayi. Your grace is a priceless gift beyond any reckoning, comparison or measure.




All has changed! As someone who loves to achieve change, this is so exhilarating (ha ha!).

I am surrounded by a
world and an ocean of
perfect grace
Just last week, if I thought (in so many different ways), "Oh, don't slip.... push harder to stay on course... you'll "go back to sleep," you'll miss the opportunity of this moment if you don't keep trying, pushing, going for it. You will lose this gift, this opportunity..."

WRONG. Now, for the first time in my life, I am seeing that awareness is important, focusing my consciousness makes the difference, mindfulness of the moment is a high practice required to reach the goal....

.... BUT I stop right away now when my mind tells me I'm "messing things up," and I feel fear.

This is contraction. This is creating rajas and tamas and karma.

When I don't know what to do, I can choose the freedom of karma yoga. I can perform the actions without claiming the fruits of the action. Lord Krishna will be right there with me in choosing karma yoga as the way out of the pushing and grasping of my mind.

To listen to Lord Krishna's divine
flute is to be enchanted
and led by grace
Thank you, Beloved Krishna, my heart's delight!! You the Lord of true freedom, of maha (great) yoga, of cosmic playfulness and love. I rest my head in devotion on your lotus feet, and offer my worship of your divine love forever.

And so, for the first time in my life, I can choose to be truly free. Truly free! To enjoy where I am, and be amazed by grace and grace and grace in every moment. I do not have to do anything with the grace, apply it just right, contain it or direct it or stretch it out... to make up for my limited, flawed and unworthy nature.

Grace is perfect. Accept the gift, and listen...


To learn the yoga of grace I must GET OUT OF THE WAY.


My ego is severely alarmed by this, ha ha...

My true nature is already here, one hundred percent. Eternal, perfect, worthy in every way. And I get to experience the gift of grace, and the wonderful path of becoming established in this experience of God as my inner Self, just as it is unfolding, just as it is directed by my guru.

All is well. No worries. (Wow...)

Thank you God, who is Paramashiva. I see you all around me as living light. I hear you as divine sounds from the inner world of ALL. I feel you as bliss, the . Because of grace. Always grace. Only grace.

PRANAM.


O divine your lotus feet
the font of your unending grace

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