Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Follow the divine nada, the internal guide


I am learning so much right now.

I am so used to thinking that God is beyond all comprehension, that everything between us will always be bathed in mystery (while I'm alive).

Lord Shiva on the River Ganges at Rishikesh
And yet, when I worshiped God as Durga, She came to me as Durga.

A long time since I converted to Hinduism, "my" forms of God have finally become very real to me (Paramashiva... as... Shiva Shakti, Shiva Parvati, Krishna, Krishna Radha, and now Durga... and divine grace through my guru). I have grown to be very devoted, grateful, full of worship, glowing with divine love for Paramashiva, the Supreme Lord.

Now that I see how much this has helped me grow spiritually, I can truly see how hard it is for the mind to contemplate God without at least a lingam to represent the formless, or a beloved form to worship and love. 

And so it seems that God is very merciful, and comes to us in the right form(s) for us.

I am always very wary of anything that sounds like: "God is this, but not that." It's a fear of having a system of merit that distorts my life and freedom. 

Sounds like a reasonable fear for a person raised as a Mormon. 

I am not anti-Mormon. But I have never liked (even as a child) that the Mormon theology has almost everything figured out and explained. And yet... here I am all these years later, believing in another universal, all-inclusive system of explanation, part philosophical and part religious: Sanatana Dharma, The Eternal Way (Hinduism

Lord Shiva on the River Ganges at Rishikesh
It seems there is a system, of sorts, for how to understand and implement the process of realization. God gave me the most precious gift of a shaktipat guru. And now God is sending me a constant stream of at least three major kinds of nada (divine sounds), saying: "This way, My Beloved.... to me."

Oh... <swoon>

(Or maybe it's my guru. "This way, grasshopper...")

So then, when when I think to look, I immediately find several sources on the internet about the nada sound(s) and what it means, what to do if it's happening to you, or how to get it to happen to you if it's not (nada as an inner guide during meditation).

And the thing is... THEY DESCRIBED THE SOUND I WAS HEARING.

What are the chances of that? It wasn't so much, "oh, that's what this sound is...," as it was, "Yeah! That's it all right..."

It seems there are plenty of other people having similar experiences to my own. But for the process to be describe pretty much exactly, it's like there's a formula involved... It seems too limited to be REAL.

Lord Shiva on the River Ganges at Rishikesh
I have trained myself to doubt everything, and especially so if it has been laid out exactly, concretely, like Mormonism. I have developed a very strong ability to proceed on hypothesis without ever fully believing in anything. 

I went to college for six plus years, and was trained as a social scientist, which I loved.

I don't know, my mind just can't quite wrap around this yet. Close.

I think this is a mala burning. Really, everything is ONE being, who enjoys forgetting who He is and then revels in the bliss of remembering and returning to Himself. Of course some of that would be the same for "everyone."

Hmmmmmmm....

~ ... ~ ... ~ ... ~ ... ~ ... ~ ... ~


The Three Devis: Lakshmi, Durga and Saraswati 

My name is Jnana, which means "to know" in Sanskrit. I developed a "healthy" skepticism to extricate myself from the black and white "knowing" of Mormonism. By my teen years, I had cultivated this natural contempt for anyone who thought they have a handle on the truth, who thought they knew, better than me, about me... and what I should believe or do. 

But somehow ... I get to have a religion, I get to "know" again. It's exhilarating! 

I truly am Hindu (though I am also more, as I imagine many Hindus are...). And I have a full, robust relationship with God... full, robust belief... and a balanced skepticism.


The emanating consciousness of Shiva

"The healthy mind challenges its own assumptions." ~ The I Ching
"What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the wish to find out, which is the exact opposite." ~ Bertrand Russell
"I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for the truth; and truth rewarded me." ~ Simone de Beauvoir"

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Sweet Surprise 2017


Forever and ever...


...closer than close.