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Wednesday, February 20, 2013


God offers, God is offered, God is offered to
I tell myself that I have two mantras: Om Nama Shivaya, and There is only ONE.

When I am not repeating the first, I do well to focus on the second, if nothing else but to watch as my ego is busily volunteering as the undisputed source of all this, and to have had nothing whatsoever to do with all of that. (Which is simply and perfectly consciousness, either way).

I seem to be struggling more with my ego. I remembered that one of the certain trials of a yogi is not to become preoccupied with siddhis (such as nada and kriya). 

As I am becoming more confident that my "attainment" isn't a fluke and isn't going to suddenly go away, my ego steps up ready to take the credit... for everything.

My guess is not to fight with ego, though I am continually flabbergasted by it taking credit for things solely due to the grace of my guru(!!) Better to see it as consciousness. I can scold it and laugh at it being a perfect little ego, then also bring in discrimination and mental discipline to recognize and identify with Shiva, Shiva Parvati, Paramashiva, and see my ego as a contracted mala.

And of course, my ego thinks this splendid plan is so smart and proves a very high attainment!

I guess I'll start busting my ego at the end of every post.

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