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Sunday, February 3, 2013


When I look through the images on my blog, I have darshan, I am filled with bliss, with God's love.

When I read about Shiva, Shaivism, and the yearning for God I have darshan.

This is a way to support my state, my experience and attainment. It is, literally, to follow my bliss.

Lucky me, I am feeling like a complete beginner at intimacy with God. Besides the obvious challenges... I think I have worshiped and loved the idea of God.

Now, when I think of God, and feel His bliss and love enclose me, I am in direct relationship with Him. "Hello," I can say, for He lives in my being, and I live in His. It is a very different kind of intimacy.

It's like, I knocked at Heavenly Father's door as a child, and he received me immediately in his "parlor," a place he made to receive my yearning and prayer. A place about me, but not really about Him.*

But now, God is my place. I open to Him as reality, and know Him, in his "mind," where I am made and exist. No door to knock on, unless I put it there.**

God, I am learning how to speak to You with my heart. I wobble. If I am flippant, it feels disrespectful. I say thank you A LOT. Everytime the bliss bubbles back up when I seek you, I say thank you.

~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~

*An important aspect of Mormonism is the belief that God has a physical body. If he were here, he would either have to veil himself, or he would be visible. The spirit which touches inside to communicate God's message and convey his blessings is a spirit who does not have a body (as God and Jesus do). In Mormonism, all can become divine, and eventually become God, an advanced spiritual belief. But it is dualistic in that evil arose and has been championed by Lucifer, and all must choose. Evil that does not come from God, but rather from freedom of choice, another advanced spiritual belief. To choose against God and goodness is evil.

**In a previous post I noted that I didn't think of my soul as something that changes. Now I am in a Hindu context, where my soul-being is purified and merges with God. In Mormonism, the "changes" to be made are in the tally sheet (which exists somewhere outside of me) of whether I am worthy of heaven. In Mormonism, the content of my relationship with God changes, and the feeling of closeness which would be cultivated change, but these are qualities of the "now" which would come and go. In Hinduism, closeness is an aspect of my being which is both cultivated and given through grace. It changes when I change, and I change when it changes. Perhaps Mormonism is this way too, and I just didn't get it. I just know that, for me, feeling "closer" to Shiva is very different from the feeling of "closer" to Jesus and to Heavenly Father.

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