I have turned at last to The Lord. I have turned after all my years, all my lifetimes, turned to Him and away from "The World." I do not reject the world. I simply do not seek my heart's desire there. The most fundamental change possible has happened in a few weeks time.
I am so full of joy! I have searched and searched all my life. I have tried so many ways to try to fit into a part of this world. Going towards, then away from living as this or that, here or there.
Be gone, illusion!
That which is real, and true... that I can have and be, is Paramashiva. My Lord, my true Beloved. I am returning to my Self.
Such an exquisite moment, remembering who I am, and letting go of this play, where I have been born, and loved, and died again and again. A very long story... all in less than one tiny sliver of a second.
This moment and reality is not an idea, a philosophy, a new goal or place to reach out for. It is not a "do," nor is it "outside" of my being. It is what I have really been seeking: the truth, fully realized, here all the time. My true nature, here in my consciousness, my Self.
Ah, Karsh Kale just came on, the wonderful song (Milan) from Liberation.