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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

More Discrimination ~ My Spiritual Path is not sangham

Discrimination is seeing what is good for me, and bad for me.

Discrimination is seeing which good things are good for me, and which ones are not. I must know and adhere to my own path. Finding my path is now essential to my spiritual unfolding. I need only look. It is here.

Discrimination is understanding that the spiritual path is now the entire purpose and focus of my life. Everything else is second to it. My heart's desire. The highest and most exquisite gift. All is well.
Lord Shiva's divine love and compassion
as he saves the universe from a
deadly poison by drinking it

Discrimination is knowing that my path is not one of study. I do not need to master the texts of my lineage, either in Kashmir Shaivism, or Karma Kagyu Buddhism. I am a jnana sadhini. For me, the path of knowledge is that of direct knowledge, which is divine understanding and union, (as opposed to study, which I also partake of). Discrimination springs from my direct contact with the divine. I merge with God spontaneously in the pure knowledge of Paramashiva I find in my heart. Perfect. 

(Jnana-Vijnana Yoga, the seventh chapter of The Bhagavad Gita is about discrimination and wisdom. My name, Jnana (my birth name in Sakskrit), means knowledge.)

Discrimination is knowing that each moment is a completely realized moment, which I may partake of at any time if I choose to look up from the distractions of samsara, and look inward where my Lord lives as me. Others will not support this understanding. I do not argue or reject, push or pull from their opinions. I am free to have the full measure of love and bliss now. All I need do is be what I am.

Discrimination is knowing that my path is solitary, that withdrawing from the rajas and distractions of society and worldliness is how I follow my heart. I am not to live in an ashram or a monastery, where the quality of satva is cultivated, which is not my path. I do not take vows. Sangham with others and sharing of the path is a distraction from what I know inside, my experience of God realization.

Discrimination is recognizing that I am burning tamas until I am not. I do not approve of or reject my desire to "waste" time online and on my blog. I am burning what is left of "hiding out." I watch, I see as Shiva. I need not resist this phase. (Resistance is futile).

Discrimination means immediately recognizing and rejecting fear which pertains to the past and the future, and which is an illusion that only exists in my mind. I cannot engage with the past or the future, and I trust in God in the present. I pay attention without fear. I act responsibly without fear. My choices are either obvious, or a chance to learn. This freedom is why I am burning tamas now. Tamas is a rejection of many things. Pushing or pulling is still attachment. I offer the tamas to the sacred fire, and offer any merits I receive as well. 

Discrimination is knowing that for now, I am not seeking a pair bond or a relationship. It is knowing that I am currently asexual. This is not a vow. It just is.

Discrimination is the wish fulfilling gem, the supreme fount and form of wisdom, the essence of offering and worship. By the jnana of discrimination, I recognize myself in vibration (movement, Chitti Shakti), accept the gift of anupaya (my longing answered by Shiva, independent of doing or not doing), and find the highest tattva of union with my Lord. I live and am lived as consciousness, and know His Bliss as my Self and my state. 

Neti... neti... neti.... Soham.

The Supreme Lord Paramashiva as Lord Krishna and Radha

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