Adulthood has always been bargaining. Tell me what I'm supposed to be doing, and I will try to do it, and then I'll get ________.
The ultimate dualism. Mormonism.
The question that has ruled all other questions: What am I supposed to be doing about this? What is the right choice? "THE RIGHT CHOICE EXISTS OUTSIDE OF ME."
Now I avoid this dualism. I weigh the options. There is not necessarily one correct choice. Choosing can be made with a light step and deliciously savored fun. God loves to party.
I choose how to act. Decision and consequence are all part of the divine play which comes from God's consciousness. It is harmful to my growth as a soul to choose evil and lack of responsibility. It is also a source of pain to try to claim authorship of consequence (karma). I CHOOSE action, then observe action and consequence. I seek to let go of attachment (to the "fruits" of my action).
I choose based on rising above the three gunas: rajas, tamas and sattva. I don't run around in rajistic pursuit of whatever. I simply choose, and act. I don't hide out in tamas, or seek the fruits of sattva.
If I do not seek the fruits of my actions, I offer my actions to God as dharma, duty. An offering is purifying. Grasping, pulling, pushing and reaching are outside of dharma, and create the spiritual debt. More burning. Ack.
It all comes down to how much of every minute I can spend in consciousness of my Beloved, who is closer than close.