Only my love

Buried, then uncovered
These shifting sands will bring me up

The winds have moved this desert here
The winds cannot move me,
but they will take all of this away

Only my body holds me here

Only my love for You remains

~ jnana shiva

I am made of this velvet mystery
An ancient place of worship
Here, in the velvet mystery of my heart

Soham. I am that.

"The real beloved is your beginning and your end.
When you find that one,
you will no longer expect anything else."
~ Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī

Friday, September 12, 2014


When everything goes to hell. When I start choosing anything besides the center place.

Don't waste time with trying to figure out what it means or what went wrong or what to do to get the guru mojo back.

Throw yourself on the fire.

It will all burn faster.

You are burning, girl. Mantra is the protection from the discomfort of the fire. It's all good.

OM Bhurbhuvah svah Surya Iha gacca
Iha sah Suryaya Namah ||
(Rg. Veda 1-35-2, Yajurveda 33-34)

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Vishnu: A Symbolic Appreciation of a Dreamy Deity by Nitin Kumar

Vishnu: A Symbolic Appreciation of a Dreamy Deity by Nitin Kumar, founder of Exotic India website

One of the easiest to read and understand, but also one of the most eloquent discussions of Hindu symbolism that I have ever encountered. It is rooted in an firm knowledge of sanskrit.

Vishnua and Lakshmi reclining upon Adi Shesha


Friday, August 15, 2014

The watcher

I rejected the world, I turned away. The burden of illusion fell, the burden of thinking I was holding it all up.

I rejected the world, I turned away.

I walked away, I stopped being attached to it all, how things turned out. I am not afraid that any of it can hurt me, can touch me at all.

But now I turn back... and there is nothing to shun. I am perfectly still inside, and all of of this is the intelligence of God.

I am done with my part in that play. I am the watcher. It is all consciousness.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014


All around me, the things I thought were important, the things I thought were me.

They slip off and I am left with the bliss, the mysterious wonderful sensual swirling bliss.

There is nothing bigger or different from... me.

Sunday, July 27, 2014


I see it clearly now. 
My guru is going to love me to death.

My guru is everywhere I look.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Out of the way

I felt you tap on my shoulder last night. Like that time before, that time a preparation for this time, I see.

I recognize that tap.

It is possible I am going to have a relationship with the visible form of the guru.

It doesn't matter.

For the first time in my life, in my sadhana, I am out of the way. I am out of the way of grace. I feel it start in some delicious way, and COMPLETELY RESIST the lifetime habit of grasping the start of it, moving it, augmenting it, making the most of it....

... and by doing that, make it as small as my little ego, tapering out, gone.

The answer is not learning how to grasp it better, longer, farther.

The answer is here. It is this.... watch, be, simply remain where I am, along for the ride. I have finally learned what I must know to accept grace.

It turns out that the real answer is all the work I have done to get to this place, where I can finally let go of "augmenting" and controlling the forces of my life.

I got out of the way.

Monday, July 21, 2014


So so so so so.... much bliss.

Art by B.G. Sharma
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