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Saturday, January 12, 2019


When I first went to live at the ashram, I took a two week course of full-time immersion in the practices. At the back of the Mandap, we would pranam to a beautiful and lovingly decorated puja to Lord Krishna with many offerings.

When the course was finished, each of us received flowers and offerings from the puja as prasad, which I took back to my room at the ashram. I placed the long, lacy spray of white flowers in a little vase on my puja, smiling each time I passed it, feeling the Lord's special presence and love.

Soon the oldest flower wilted and dropped off, as did each flower in the spray, wilting and dropping off one by one. Eventually one flower at the tip remained.

This flower did not wilt. It did not drop off. Weeks went by and this flower remained, as young and perfect as it was when it was on Lord Krishna's puja.

Every day I was amazed by this miracle, accepting the Lord's communication of magic and love to me in this beautiful and playful way.

Weeks later the flower did finally wilt and drop off. The memory of this miracle remains.

I was new to Hinduism then, and to Lord Krishna. It was a wonderful way of getting to know him. Over the years I have experienced Lord Krishna's love in many very beautiful and very playful ways. To me, Lord Krishna's shakti is always quiet, pregnant with all possibility, delightfully subversive, fully flowing and spectacularly alive!

I do love you, Lord. Always. Pranam.

Monday, September 24, 2018


My sadhana has become very subtle, outside of my mind, beyond words. I live for my Beloved, who is all the forms of God and the Guru, all that is.

My Beloved, you hide in plain sight as everything, you love me as whomever you find in my heart. You draw me away from attachment to the world of the senses, to the place beyond, the place of magic I have longed for all my life.

Come, I will bring you across...
to me, to my world of magic,
for I created all of this,
I am all of this,
I am all that is inside
I am love
I am love
I am you

Friday, September 21, 2018

Faith of the heart

When the little tears start, and the stone at the center of my heart is softened, just a little, it is the moment when my lost faith is being rekindled.

Dearest Saint Therese of Lisieux, you said that you would spend your time in heaven doing good on earth.
Your trust in God was complete. Pray that He may increase my trust in His goodness and mercy as I ask for the following petitions…
That my faith in the deepest longings of my heart will be rekindled.
Pray for me that I, like you, may have great and innocent confidence in the loving promises of our God. Pray that I may live my life in union with God’s plan for me, and one day see the Face of God whom you loved so deeply.
Saint Therese, you were faithful to God even unto the moment of your death. Pray for me that I may be faithful to our loving God. May my life bring peace and love to the world through faithful endurance in love for God our savior.

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